Me, My Writing, My Thinking, and You
I noticed a few inquiries in comments as to my whereabouts and sparse posting as of late. These inquiries are misplaced and inapt. Let me explain something.
I write for me, not for you. When I compose my posts, I am doing so at my pleasure and at my leisure. I feel at liberty to compose long posts, short posts, or no posts at all, at any pace which I care to choose. I also feel at liberty to alter that pace, alter the length of my posts, at will. You, the reader, are not a variable in this equation. You are not a presence. You are literally as nothing. I am content that you are reading the posts; I tolerate your reading them, in other words. Nothing more.
I may give you warning when where will be light posting. Then again, I may not. If I do so, it will be because doing so pleases me, and for no other reason. I reserve the right to make no posts for a year and a half with no warning or explanation at all. Then again I reserve the right to make 50 posts in the span of an hour. Either one.
Let me tell you why I don't post. I don't post because I have you, the readers, to please. Let me tell you why I do post. I post because thoughts come to me and I must get them down. Or for some other reason which is related to me, my internal thoughts, my desires, my needs. The important thing to keep in mind is that it has nothing whatever to do with you. You are an artifact of the publishing procedure; in other words, you exist (as my readers) because I happened to publish these things that I typed. If I hadn't done so, you would not exist (as such).
This all comes from the fact that I have a rather unique and different way of thinking, which may be - and probably is - unfamiliar to you. The best way to explain it is to simply say that, for many years, perhaps in some cases more years than many of you have been alive, I worked as - for all intents and purposes, let's call it - an Analyst.
Other Analysts instinctively know what I'm talking about, but many of you may not. As an Analyst, part of what I do - and what I believe is an integral part of my very personality - is to incorporate and assess large amounts of data, and make a macroscopic judgment of that data. A summary, but more than that. A picture. A model. I tell the story of the data, to put it in words you may be able to understand.
How this occurs is by a brain process which is probably foreign to you unless you are also an Analyst. It is something that is nonlinear and holistic. It does not proceed from one step to the next, simply, in an ordered progression such as those of you in Computer Science may rely on. It is at least three (by some measures, four) levels of abstraction above that. The only way I can explain it is to say that when I am trying to, let's say, solve some "problem", my brain switches into an alternate mental state. It is, perhaps, similar to meditation - but more disciplined and intense. It takes a large amount of focus. (Afterwards, I am often exhausted. Tea helps.)
My brain in this state is perhaps interesting for you to ponder and attempt to understand. First of all, I have found (and this has been verified) that I have the ability to suppress the alpha waves, as in sleep. This allows me to focus more of my brain's energy on the beta waves which are necessary for the cognitive processing involved in analyzing. Interestingly, however, I have also found that part of this energy is diverted into theta waves, which are usually found only in children. So this may go some way towards explaining how I have been able to function as an Analyst for so long, with few ill effects.
When I set my mind to a problem, it works on it with little to no guidance or further input from me. This is difficult to explain and requires wisdom to understand. My brain has a mind of its own. I believe it transcends time, and perhaps to some extent space (as you can imagine, I attend to all new developments in string theory with some interest), to access the processing power it needs to finish its task. I have little control over when my brain will finish solving that problem either; it may happen while I am in the shower, or tuning my flamenco guitar, or pruning my bonsai. Something happens inside my brain, which I shall not attempt to describe but which I visualize as a phase transition and a fracture simultaneously, and suddenly the realization comes to me that I have a Solution.
Often it is at such times that I find it pleasurable to compose a post to this electronic journal and publish it.
So now you have, I think, a deeper understanding of both my motivation and of your place in the scheme of things. Please be advised accordingly.
By the way, in case you were wondering: Yes, it is precisely due to my skills as an Analyst that I was able to perceive that the invasion of Iraq initiated by President Bush in 2003 was an entirely appropriate act in the context of the circumstances present at the time.